If you've lived your life in constant failure, it's difficult to see a future where you're able to achieve anything that you set yourself out to do. I'm not here to tell you that you can be anything you put your mind to, because I think that equation is only partially true. The other (more important!) part of the equation is having a clear mind and knowing who you are, and then, you can achieve anything you put your mind to!
Everything I'm about to write is a process I have learned and apply. It doesn't mean I'm a success guru, but I am a failure guru :D And what I can say is, my failures have started to turn around and I've slowly but surely started working my way towards my dreams. For example, I went from never being able to have more than $2,000 in my bank account to having over $1,000,000 in assets (it's not that right now, but in 3 years it should stay always above that!)
So this process in time will be a testament to any success I have.
I'm a work in progress.
1. Acceptance - It's OK if you're a failure
I say this with the deepest empathy and with deliberate purpose. You need to be able to accept yourself as you are. For me, in every failing I've had, it's only when I've stopped fighting it and started to accept my own shortcomings that I could start to walk a different path.
Nobody is perfect. Everyone is different depending on their mind and their circumstances, and even the most successful people started at the bottom like everyone else. The big difference between their success and failure is their mindset, but I won't be covering that in this article as I have started to talk about it here.
So obviously the first step is acceptance. When you can see yourself and where you're at, you can start to develop ways to move forward.
2. Clear your mind of the failure
Do you ever feel like you're just looping over the same failures again and again and again? No matter how hard you try, you find yourself just repeating the same things which lead to the same failures, almost like it's on autopilot?
That's because of your mind. It's because we all live in our own version of the world inside of our own minds. What we have stored in there from the life we have lived, and the habits with which we live by, determines EXACTLY our destiny. This is why it's impossible to break free. Because you have all of those failures stored up in your mind, and you're like a robot "living out" the programming of your mind.
If a robot is malfunctioning, and the programming is faulty, what do you do? You give it a factory reset and reprogram it! Treat your mind in the same way.
Clean your mind up. Reflect on all of your failures and let it all go from your heart and your mind through the method of discarding meditation. This is not about mindfulness. Mindfulness is about trying not to judge your thoughts and just allowing them, but that's only part of the solution. You want to actually clear it out of your consciousness - it's a far more effective technique for rapidly changing.
3. Understand yourself
This is another part of the acceptance. You need to know who you are, what your talents are, and what your capacity is now. There are certain aspects of yourself you can develop and upskill, but you're much better off working with your natural, innate strengths, the way the Universe made you as one with the whole.
This process takes practice, trial, and error, and most importantly - self-reflection. When you're clear on who you are, you will just know what your talents are and you will be able to develop a life around those talents.
For me, when I thought of the idea of being an architect, it made my heart sing. I recall the night where I just realised it was perfectly suited to my deeply analytical and creative mind.
But this was only one step in a lifelong journey. I haven't stopped being an architect, it's a talent I'll always have, but right now I don't need to be practicing it to develop towards what I need to be for the world.
4. Start to build habits appropriate to your success
You have to know what success even means for you. For example, success for me means 10's and even 100's of millions of dollars so I can use that money to impact the world in a positive way. For you, it may mean a house for you, your family, and some passive income to live off.
Maybe it's even got nothing to do with money. Maybe it's to do with writing the book you've always dreamed of or working in your dream company.
Whatever it is, you need to know, and you need to move and build the right habits for it.
Michael Jordan didnt become the greatest basketball player to have ever lived because he sat on his arse hoping for success. He trained. Relentlessly. He worked his arse off. And that's what it took to be the GOAT of basketball.
You may not need or care for that amount of effort, but you need to be able to match the habits with the success you're striving for, or it simply won't come. Manifesting is total bullshit without action.
So, give yourself a break. It's OK. What's happened has happened. But now you know why it's happening and how to change it. So now it's about taking the appropriate action. And the less you take, and the more you blame the circumstances for your failure, the more of your own inherent power you give away. Don't give it away! Take your power back. Take control. Failure is a part of the process of growth, so accept yourself where you're at, meditate and clean up your mind, then figure out who you are and take the right action towards the success you've always dreamed of.