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  • Writer's pictureCoexistence Steven - Architect, Meditator, Investor

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" - More Like "How to Change Habits That Lasts Forever" pt 0

Updated: Jun 3, 2023


One of my biggest frustrations with books was I could never implement anything - my negative mindset, bad habits, and overall laziness always blocked me.

I couldn't change!

However, since I have been practicing clearing my mind through meditation, I have become naturally positive, developed good habits, and my laziness is disappearing.

There is space in my mind to allow for change.

After reading a powerful reflection series on Principles by Ray Dalio, I am reflecting on this book as I read it to cement the teachings, and to help you learn from how I have been able to do it.

This is "Part 0" - the foundation of how I will go about it and bring it to you in the series to come.

How do I change my negative and bad habits for good?
Change is no secret once you understand the mind

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" - A top 10 book for many people

I first came across this book when my cousin's husband, Levi (much love brother!) shared this book with me.

It was instrumental in the early days of my architecture business, helping me to connect with people and win more clients - something I've only realized now as I'm reflecting.

Most successful people list this book in their top 10 books. For example, Alex Hormozi regularly studies this book and this is what inspired me to revisit it.

Alex Hormozi and many successful people regularly studies how to win friends and influence people
Thank you twitter, I love you Elon <3

The reason why change was hard - we live inside of our own little bubble, our own little mind world!

  1. You are born into this world with a body (your own 5 senses camera that you take "pictures" of the world with) given to you by the Universe.

  2. Inside of that body, you have the habits (genetic code / DNA) you have inherited from your parents and ancestors.

  3. And with that as your foundation, you create your own little mind world (a bubble 100% separated from reality) of the life you have lived.

It seems like I am living in my own bubble - is this true?
Everyone is living in their own little bubble - their own picture world

Why change is impossible

Therefore, this determines your destiny - your past is your present and you become trapped in that way of being!

This is why only a small minority in the world are able to achieve what they want. It's all predetermined by that "mind world" which you've made yourself.

If you have taken too many "pictures" of failure, negativity, laziness, bad habits, etc - it can be impossible for you to change that mindset.

I fell into this category.

Your past determines your present and you become trapped in that way of being!
Your past determines your present and you become trapped in that way of being!

How I have been able to change bad habits

There were times in my life I was able to change here and there, but it never really stuck.

I always fell back into my old habits.

I was able to change when I meditated and cleared the limiting beliefs, negativity and bad habits from my mind.

As I have done that, it's accelerated the rate at which I have changed, and because my habits are changing, then the overall change sticks!

I keep repeating old habits, how do I change?
If you want to truly change, I recommend clearing your mind to allow space in your mind to change


Follow this series as I uncover the learnings and how at each part I've been able to put the book into practice.

If you can do it already, that's great, but if you always fall back into your old ways, then stick around and I can help :)

Have you had any trouble trying to change and implement something in your own life?

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