Trading is not easy. When you look at the charts, it seems like it's a piece of cake. Ups and downs, it rhythmically sways, tempting you into itself. The lines fill your mind with hopes and dreams for what you can do with your future.
One of my first major losses (basically 50% of my wealth at the time), I was sitting next to one of my friends, waiting to do a presentation about the mind and meditation at a local government office. I scoffed:
Haha, this is so easy. I can't believe how easy this is.
In a split second, filled with arrogance and hubris, I made a terrible decision which overexposed me to the market. I didn't even really know what I was doing! And I rushed. I was filled with all my old habits.
I ended up losing $10,000 on that trade. It wasn't fun.
But it taught me a lot! I instantly understood how powerful the mind was. It can be used for you or against you. I thought to myself:
Your mindset and your emotional state really effect your trading, so you better get that right if you want to succeed at this!
What at first seems like an easy, fast game, gradually becomes the direct opposite. Trading appeals to the gambler, but only the master can succeed. You need strict emotional control, psychological mastery, and personality traits like discipline, patience, and persistence - none of which I had.
I've built it up over the years, after first having let go of all of my old thought patterns in my mind. It couldn't be done any other way. It was like duct taping a sinking ship. Impossible.
Beyond that, I've devoted many hours to learning and studying and I'm now getting very close to achieving my goal of building an algorithm. I'm more or less there, but now I need to forward test it to make sure it's as good as the back test looks. But I'm trying to tweak it and perfect it before I start that so I'm intensely working until then.
With the right mind, I've been able to diligently work away for 12-18 hours a day over the past few weeks alone. My goal was to try and have something - anything - before the end of the year and I've made some major break throughs....
But perhaps, more gratefully, is that I keep asking:
Universe - what should I do? Is this the right thing or not?
Fact is, the Universe gives exactly what I have in my mind. If I have doubt, and want to develop further, it sends people to show me that doubt and to help me dig deeper. But do I want to dig deeper yet? Not yet, so I just tried to stay grateful and so I kept asking and the Universe is sending people to help me with where I am now.
The year is almost up. Have I achieved it?
Tomorrow I get the feeling I'll be satisfied enough to pursue it into the new year...