I've been seeing more clearly that the Universe doesn't exist for me, but it exists to test me, so I can be free from my self. And so I've been becoming more grateful for all that's happening and more kind to myself for all that I was.
I can't change from 0 to 10 or 10 to 0. I have to take step. Even today, I was listening to Ed Mylett interview David Goggins. Goggins was talking about a breaking moment in his life, and it made me sad thinking "oh, I've had so many of these moments, but I've still ended up falling back into my old ways and my old self" and then he went on to say that this was just one of many! Life is not a movie, there's no rock bottom moment where it turns around, there's many of them.
And I teared up and was overwhelmed with gratitude.
Thank you. And it strengthened my resolve. That I won't quit. I will die before I quit. There's no where for me to go. This is my make up. This is who I was made to be. I might not be a billionaire business man, because I give everything of my self in service, right now as a volunteer. So I don't have to lament that life because it's not me. I will be ME who the Universe made me to be.
Accept where you are.
Life is a test. Grow.
Be yourself. Your true self.
A lot of these things are just repeated lessons. Repeated understandings. Why is that? Again, it's because there's no 10 to 0. No 0 to 10. It's gradual. And so these lessons keep coming, and keep coming, until I become them.
Not all rainbows and sunshine
To add though, the same phenomena of today being overly difficult compared to yesterday where I felt overwhelmed with gratitude..... Like the energy comes in stirs it all up, and it settles back down to it's darker state that the gratitude has since uplifted