OK so today I started to break some barriers…. In regard to content creation and my lingering social anxiety. I have no problem with recording myself being an idiot and putting it on the internet (in fact I really love it!), but I do have a problem with people seeing me record myself haha. What a stupid thing.
So today I forced myself to do some content where I was being recorded. It’s a step in the right direction! Like anything I embark on, I find that starting is usually extremely difficult, and then the next difficulty is the consistency of repeating whatever it is.
But I think consistency is slowly becoming less of a problem. As is starting. But normally, once I start, I can start to get really comfortable and just move forward.
With that said, there are certain things I still haven’t been able to start…. I’ve built up such a wall of lies in my mind that’s difficult to climb over, and I know it’s just a matter of having to start and consistently take action and ignore that mind, but the emotional intensity is huge.
But anyway, I’m grateful for that knowledge, and I’m grateful for my capacity to just start, and to continue. 1 day I’ll tackle that big mountain. I tried it once, but I fell down pretty hard and haven’t really gotten up since. But even that fall was only in the mind….